Estranged from authority

I met J years ago when H had become an activist, started working for the biggest rebellious organisation in Korea.
I was glad to hear H was enjoying working there and fell in love with the director since I disapproved of her engagement with her long term ex-boyfriend who used to beat her from time to time.
Once I found out her ex who I never really got on with treated her badly, I dragged H from their flat and kept her in my place for six months.
She went on seeing him.
I took her to doctor's. I was worried if she was pregnant.
I made my journey only to meet her new man, to check up on him.
I liked him as soon as I talked to him, but H told me that he was still with his fiancée. Brilliant.

I only noticed J when all of us (absolutely everyone) were offended by the crap opera, we were invited to, so decided to make a quick move to a pub so that we could talk loud about it.
On the way to a pub she was already talking very loud with great sarcasm.
I first didn't like the loud manner but in terms of the contents thought she was funny and interesting.
I wanted to know who the person was.
Oh my lord, she is hideous. I thought.
I then discovered that J was a board member of the organisation, Uni lecturer with a doctorate degree in Korean literature and infamous play critic.
A few months later when half of my aesthetics study group members went on their postgraduate studies so we decided to stop meeting, I joined their philosophy seminar sessions.
I met J again.
I actually didn't mind J and nor did she.
I barely knew anyone apart from H so felt a little bit isolated, but the day I was late for the seminar things changed.
Everyone laughed so much, especially J couldn't stop laughing for so long and probably she still laughs about it.
They said I was hilarious, said I was what exactly H used to describe me to them.
J thought I was just like her.
Everyone agreed we were identical.
I didn't understand what it actually meant.

That's abuse.
In terms of the similarity between us,
she's just been disappointed at which I am.

H is still in love with the same guy.
I am happy for her.
I am happy too, but I never expected this was going to be this hard.
I know it very well.
I won't say more if that's what you want to go through.