Have I said what I had to say today?

I am not so sure.

Heading to the end, my dear friend Diane

How sweet of you describing me that way.
Thanks.
I might give it a little time.
I reckon, the door's never been open, or locked.
I am exhausted, I am disappointed, I am unable to move, I have broken arms and legs.
I live by the inertia I can't possibly get away from.
I look down on little pleasures and resist your custom.
I will not act on your dubious custom anymore.
I will not let you in.
Why hesitate? Just break in.

Let me make things clear for you

Some feelings aren't momentary.
It still hurts.

It will pass soon

don't be too distressed.
I'm sure you will change your mind tomorrow.
Feelings fade.

Don't get your hopes up

and do not run away from it.
I know it's going to be hard for you, but face it.
Let's see who you can be.
Whoever you become I will be with you.
I sometimes worried about you when you spoke about your dad.
Get over it, you've got to get over it.
I've never been honest about it.
I know.
What you don't know frightens you.
Grasp a moment pushing you most uneasy.
Take it as it is.

Oh dear, you are late again

How could you possibly come this time?
You told me to be patient, not punctual.
I didn't listen to you, I listened to You.
I never thought C would talk to me in that much friendly way, EVER.
Oh god, look at that fat grumpy face.
You have nothing to worry about, C is just being jealous.
Good lord, C smiled.
It wasn't nauseous, rather amusing after a year and 4 months void.
Thanks.
I mean it.

Parrhesia

I've started to wonder why Foucault was interested in this term.

Courage to say

that I love you.
I love you just as you are.
Please don't get hurt by the way I am.
I pretend things that you wouldn't ever know.
You don't allow people to love you.
My pal despondency doesn't let me do it.
Take a risk, be courageous and let yourself be in danger.
The purpose of saying it is to pass by.

I don't need to know what I should or shouldn't do

So don't tell me what to do.
You clearly remembered my expression that I won't ever be able to spot.
It's still imperative.
Still?
That's you, I remember.
The footsteps get on my nerves.
It sounded that they were happy talking to each other last night.
I was furious in the middle of sleep.
I will go and then you will fade into insignificance.

Learn to be patient

Ok.

I say that's healthy to be suicidal

I said I want to die everyday although I haven't made it happen.
She says, that's very normal.
We've just been imposed against ending our lives.
I hate it.
Fuckit.
What do we have to live for?
I didn't choose to be born.
I don't have to cope with all this shit.
To thank.
I think I should stop talking to you for a little while.
So you did?
Yes, I did.
I easily get disillusioned.
There must be something that you wish to continue.
The reason why I couldn't kill myself is that it was so beautiful.
I wanted to keep looking at it, the beautiful land.
We first met there and you met my first friend looking for me in a snowstorm the day I had a present.
You both told me about each other.
God bless, you are with me.
You are special, she's been missing.
Please don't die on me.
How weird.

Good idea

I think I should make a list of favourites, and
I should learn to be patient,
I should smile more,
I should eat less,
I should see the sun more,
I should treat myself to sth.
I should get you out of my mind.